Even the Best Struggle

I received a phone call from a highly successful business owner earlier last week. This is someone who founded and runs a business many people would know. By all accounts, this company is wildly successful and holds a strong position in the culture. I know this person through a mutual friend, and we periodically have meandering conversations about business, behavioral science, and ridiculous ideas.

On this particular call, we went down the road of the day-to-day struggles of running a business. I'll remind you again this person runs a highly successful business. During the chat, he blurted out, "Every day seems hard. I often wonder if I'm cut out for this." What?!?! This is a highly respected business leader. If he isn't cut out for this, then I'm screwed!

That was yet another reminder of such a wise lesson: this isn't supposed to be easy! If I ever get to the point where it feels easy, it means one of a few different things: 1) I'm lying to myself, 2) I'm not pushing myself enough, or 3) I'm leaving impact on the table. It reminds me of a conversation I once had with an old boss. He, too, was highly successful in his career. I asked him when he finally got comfortable in his role. His answer disappointed and frustrated me. "Never." "Never?". "Every time I came close to being comfortable, it was time for me to take on new responsibilities and learn new things. So I never felt comfortable."

I'll always remember that conversation. Sometimes, in my own self-doubt, I'll look around the room of highly successful people and remember most of them are likely feeling some version of this as well. It helps to humanize people and also give ourself some grace along the way. This is an experience I get to share nearly daily with coaching clients. Many of them have a notable level of accomplishment and achievement in their respective fields, yet I get to see what's behind the curtain. Behind the curtain, they are just like you and me: self-doubting, mistake-making, outcome-fearing humans.

Even the best struggle. If they aren't perfect, maybe it's ok if you aren't, either. Let's face the day head-on and with confidence. When the challenge presents itself, do the best you can, learn, push yourself, and be better next time. Oh yeah, and along the way, don't be afraid to show your humanity to those around you. Vulnerability doesn't make you weak; it makes you real.

Challenging Your Beliefs

We just arrived in Doha, Qatar, in what should be a whirlwind 24-hour adventure. This is one of our favorite places to visit. I absolutely love the Middle East. A handful of years ago, there’s zero chance I would have ever said that. When I was first offered the opportunity to travel there for work, I was admittedly nervous. After all, I watch the same news coverage you do. Lots of bad things happen in the Middle East. Then, I went…..and it changed everything for me. The Middle East is one of the safest, most family-friendly places in the world, full of sights, culture, and amazing food. Never in a million years would I think that……until I saw it with my own two eyes. I’ve been to 10 countries there and each one offers a different and unique perspective. I always look forward to going back and seek out reasons to do so.

We’re still trying to decide what to do while we’re here. Maybe we’ll ride camels, or take a dip in the Persian Gulf, or take a 4x4 tour across the expansive sand dunes. All of these are amazing experiences, by the way! We’ll most certainly eat a bunch of good food, drink tasty coffee, walk through the historical markets, and stare at the brightly lit skyline at night.

Going to the Middle East forced me to challenge my own beliefs. Had I spent my whole life being scared of the Middle East, I would have robbed myself of something wonderful. I’m grateful for younger me for leaving his comfort zone to try something new. Today’s Travis and Sarah will benefit because of it.

This applies to travel, but it also applies to so many other areas of our life. We all have bias and other deeply seeded beliefs that act as guideposts to our thoughts and actions. It’s always healthy to challenge them in the name of growth. Challenging them doesn’t mean we’re wrong, but rather gives us an opportunity to grow. It’s always hard, but always worth it.

There is No Impact Without Failure

During yesterday’s keynote address at a high school FBLA conference, I stressed the importance of failing. We live in a culture that tells us to avoid failure. Even parents protect their children from failing these days. Not only do I dislike this mindset, but I actually think we should pursue failure. In my talk, I shared two primary reasons why failure is important on our journey:

1. There’s nothing worth doing that doesn’t involve the risk of failing. I jokingly mentioned there was still a chance I would botch my talk and completely humiliate myself. However, there was one surefire way I could have avoided the risk of failure. I could have simply stayed home, which would be much safer and ensured nothing bad could have happened to me. On the flip side, staying home also meant I had a zero percent chance of making an impact. You can’t have one without the other.

2. When we fail, we learn. Failing is never fun, but it stretches us and helps us grow. When we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations and force ourselves to figure it out, we will absolutely fail from time to time. Simultaneously, we’ll also learn, adapt, and stretch ourselves. That’s exactly why something that may be uncomfortable at first eventually becomes comfortable. In the absence of failure, there’s an absence of growth.

I’ll leave you with the wise words of the GOAT, Mr. Air Jordan. “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. And 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life, and that is why I succeed.”