We Ruin Them Young

Last night at youth group, we opened registrations for the money class I teach each year. This will be the 9th year hosting the class, and we’ve taken 175 high school students through it over the first eight years. Walking alongside these kids is always one of the highlights of my year. One of my favorite parts about the class is a scholarship program we developed in conjunction with it, where students who go through it have the opportunity to apply for a scholarship when they are seniors. To date, we’ve granted $48,000 in scholarships thanks to a number of generous financial partners who have chosen to bless our youth in this way.

After announcing the class, a few students approached me with questions, comments, and stories. I’ve done this long enough to know these stories will be told, but they never cease to amaze me. One student shared that she, at 17 years old, already has a $350/month car payment. Another student shared about her college plans, which will result in more than $100,000 of student loan debt. That’s her number, not mine. That’s a literal number she, her parents, and the college have discussed and somehow have gotten comfortable with. This is for a bachelor’s degree, mind you. Both of these kids, even before exiting minor status, have already made significant, life-altering financial decisions. Rather, I should say their parents allowed them (at best) or encouraged them (at worst) to make these choices.

These young adults don’t know what they don’t know. They are making decisions today that won’t present their true impact until years down the road. These are the scenarios that may someday result in resentment and anger toward their parents. The parents likely mean well, and the kids trust their parents, but I’ve seen this story play out enough times to know where they’re heading. I regularly meet with clients who have to process these situations from earlier in life and hopefully offer forgiveness to their parents. These deep wounds come up meeting, after meeting, after meeting. Many of these parents don’t even know there is deep-seated anger. After all, they were trying to help their kids and sincerely believed they were serving them well.

As I try to close out today’s post, I’m not sure what the takeaway is. Maybe it’s that we adults and parents just need to do better. Whether we have kids or not, there are young people looking at us. What we do and what we say has the potential to make a profound impact on their life. Let’s use that influence for good.

The Moment

Last October, I wrote a piece titled “Seasons of Need.” For obvious reasons, it feels relevant more now than ever. Violently and unexpectedly, so many people have suddenly landed in a season of need. The world feels like it’s burning all around us.

Someone in my life recently lost their job. Someone I really care about. This is someone who was trying to do all the right things, make good decisions, and build a firm financial foundation for their future family. Someone who had been working hard, had just started a newer, better, more promising job. Then we welcomed a global pandemic to the party and everything exploded.

My wife and I do all of our giving through a special checking account creatively called "Giving Account." On our printed checks (yeah those still exist!), just below our name and just above our address is a line that reads "Proverbs 3:27." I won't make you go look it up.....the scripture says "Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act."

That scripture isn't a cute quote we burn into a piece of wood and hang above our doorframe. It's not even something we do. It's who we are! We are called into a life of generosity. Joyful, sacrificial, God-honoring generosity.

Since this is who I am, I did the first thing that came to mind when I learned about my friend’s sudden job loss. I Venmo'd them rent money. It wasn't even a real consideration….we simply acted. I texted my wife with the idea and within 15 seconds she responded "Yes I'm in support." 15 seconds! I love that about her. The whole process from idea to execution took no more than 90 seconds. Sarah and I aren’t heroes, and I don’t want you to think that. Please, please, please don’t think that. We are simply doing what God has asked us to do: show His love through generosity.

In a conversation that now makes me cringe, I was talking to my mentor Gary Hoag about generosity. Mind you, he wasn’t my mentor at this point…….in fact, this conversation happened less than 24 hours after I first met him. Gary asked me “do you think you’re generous?” I confidently (and perhaps arrogantly) answered “yeah, I do.” “Why?” “Because we give 12% of our income.” “What makes 12% generous?” “Because it’s more than 10%!” See, very cringey.

Gary paused for an uncomfortable period of time (or maybe it was just me who was uncomfortable), probably trying to decide how aggressive to be with this young guy he had just met. I don’t remember his exact words and it would be unfair for me to try to put words into his mouth all these years later, but the takeaways of that conversation were profound and life-changing. In short, Gary (who is one of the world’s brightest minds on Christian generosity) explained God isn’t keeping score. He’s not tallying dollars and keeping a ledger of our giving. Instead, he’s looking at our heart. When I asked Gary what it means to truly give sacrificially, he turned it back around on me with a question: “Does your giving hurt? Do you feel like you’re really giving up a lot to give what you’re giving?” It was an easy answer for me, “no.” Our 12% giving didn’t hurt. For us, it meant we saved a little less and maybe (maybe) went on one less trip per year. Thinking about it, it wasn’t a sacrifice at all. It was giving out of surplus. It may have been joyful (so very, very joyful!), but it definitely wasn’t sacrificial.

After this conversation, I talked to my wife and we agreed to immediately double our giving. Again, she’s pretty awesome in that way. That’s when our giving started to feel like a sacrifice. All sacrifice brings pain, but this is a pain I dream others have a chance to experience. The pain of working really hard, giving up something you feel is important to you, turning around to bless someone else instead, thanking God for giving you that opportunity, and trusting He will continue to meet your needs. It sounds ridiculous when I type it out and re-read it, but in practice it is the most life-giving, faith-growing, rewarding, exciting, and loving thing we can do with the money He’s blessed us with.

Back to my friend. When they unexpectedly received a Venmo notification on their phone about the gift we had just made, it led to the following text exchange:

“I can’t accept that money from you!!!”

“Of course you can!”

“At least allow me to provide something of value for you.”

“We’re in this together. All of us. We all have seasons of need. I’ve had several. This is yours.”

“I am so humbled. I don’t know what to say aside from thank you so very much.”

They were wrong on one thing…..when they asked to provide me something of value. Who says they haven’t already? Relationships matter. In fact, there is nothing more valuable than relationships. What’s not valuable in this equation is money. Money is just some paper and coins. But money is never about money……it’s always about something far greater. Given joyfully and sacrificially, God WILL use it to change the world.

The timing of this post is not a coincidence. There are a lot of hurting people right now. A lot of people experiencing a season of need. We all go through seasons of need, but if this isn’t yours, perhaps it’s time for you to get in the game. Ramp up your giving to your local church. Ramp up your giving to organizations doing amazing work. Find people around you who are hurting, and simply step in with joyful and sacrificial generosity.

“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act.” We live in a world full of pain, suffering, and fear right now. Each of us may not single-handedly change the world, but God can use us to change someone’s world. And if we all band together and change a few someone’s worlds, the world will most assuredly be changed. This, my friends, is the moment! Will you join me?

New Beginnings

For nearly two decades I’ve wanted to run a website and publish my writing. I’m not sure what has stopped me in the past. Perhaps it was the busy of life, or not having anything to say, or believing nobody cared what I had to say, or maybe because I was simply lazy or scared. As the saying goes, the best time to start was 20 years ago…..and the second-best time to start is now!

This website is one of the many new beginnings my family has experienced in this season of life. About three months ago, I stepped away from an amazing career in institutional commercial real estate investing. It was a dream job, it paid well, it was fun, and it allowed me to see the world. But God gave me a new dream. Today, I wake up each and every day with a burning desire to help people win with money. Not so they can become wealthy and swim around in their pools of money like Scrooge McDuck, but rather so they can live out the life God has called them to live. For some it means changing careers to joyfully use their gifts and passions for a purpose, for others it means staying home with their babies, for some it means to open up the floodgates of generosity, and for many it simply means to ease the tension money and finances have put on their day-to-day life.

I’ve found a few ways to serve others with these gifts. The first is through offering professional financial coaching for families looking to improve their financial life. Some people are doing ok and looking to do good, while others are doing good and looking to do great. These are people with purpose, with passion, and with the dedication to create real change so they can live the life God has called them to live. Each and every one of them are heroes in my book! This professional part of my life will also involve speaking, workshops, podcasting, and writing.

I’ve also been blessed with an opportunity to serve my local church – The Ridge in Ankeny, IA (suburban Des Moines) – by launching a formal financial ministry. In this ministry, we hope to raise up a team of leaders who can help people honor God with their finances. Through teaching, speaking, coaching, and workshops, we want to serve the people of our church with love, compassion, and truth. Check out this link to learn more about what we’re doing at The Ridge.

This brings us here, to this blog. Every time I push something into the world, whether it be on FB, IG, or Twitter, I ask myself one simple question: “why am I doing this?” If the answer is anything but “to entertain”, “to educate”, or “to inspire”, I simply hit delete and move on with my life. I want to add value in all that I do, and never want it to become about me. So with this blog, I hope to entertain, educate, and inspire those who desire to live a better life. A life with purpose. A life they will one day look back on and be proud of. If you are one of those people, I hope you find value in this blog and continue to read, engage, and share.

Thanks, and here’s to new beginnings!