Work That Matters: SAHM Edition

“So you just stay at home?” I was standing about 8 feet from Sarah when she was asked this question at a social gathering, but I could tell from the minute I looked at her eyes, that one hurt. We had recently become parents to twin boys. Considering her dream in life was to one day stay at home with her babies, she was in the midst of living her absolute dream. But in that moment, her confidence was wavering and the self-talk was starting to creep in. It wasn’t the first time she had received an innocent-sounding comment with an insult attached to it, but this one hurt just as much as the others.

Stay-at-home Moms receive a lot of this type of feedback. “Do you work or do you stay at home?” “Is your husband the only one who provides?” “When will you start working again?” People don’t typically mean to be insulting or demeaning when asking these questions. Far from it. However, baked into most is a perception of laziness, lack of accomplishment, and selling themselves short.

I knew this long before I became a parent, but it was affirmed time and time again after watching Sarah be a stay-at-home Mom for the first six years of our children’s lives. It’s really freaking hard! It’s an exhausting, never-ending, thankless job, with terrible hours, and the most unreasonable bosses on planet Earth. Frankly, I’m not sure how she did it. I can say with utmost certainty that I would never in a million years be able to stay at home with kids. It’s not for lack of want, but rather because I simply couldn’t handle it. No matter how hard my work was - and it was brutal at times - it paled in comparison to what Sarah dealt with at home. For that, I’m grateful.

Moms, you’re doing amazing work. You’re doing some of the hardest and most important work on the planet. You’re literally shaping the next generation, day in and day out. There’s no compensation tied to it, there’s no status that comes with it, and the hours can be brutal. In other words, this isn’t a job you can do well unless you find deep meaning and purpose in it. Considering this blog is called The Daily Meaning, this is my way of giving you a 3-minute standing ovation.

It may not always feel like you’re being recognized or seen, but your work and your love matter. My encouragement to you is this. The fruit of your labor isn’t obvious today, tomorrow, next month, or even next year. It won’t be seen for many years to come when your kids have spread their wings and are carving out their own paths in life. When they do, and as they do, that’s when you’ll truly see how all your difficult and amazing work has paid off.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms and grandmas out there! You’re doing amazing work and I’m grateful for you.