The Reminders We Don't Want

On Saturday, during the busiest day of the week, our Northern Vessel coffee shop experienced what could have been the most tragic of situations. A car, stolen earlier that morning, barrelled into the side of our shop at full speed. It first struck a customer standing out front, sending him through the main window and down into the basement (the cavern being exposed due to the impact).

At the same time, two of our full-time staff members and a loyal customer were sitting on the built-in bench with their backs against the glass window. Upon impact, as the bench was dislocated (exposing the basement where the outside passenger fell), these three individuals began to retreat and were thrown across the room.

Miraculously, nobody sustained life-threatening injuries. In the aftermath, as the team looked around the room, now covered in glass and blood, it was a harsh reminder of how delicate our lives are. One minute we are enjoying a sunny weekend afternoon sipping a coffee while hanging with friends, and the next minute all hell breaks loose. We often take for granted how special this opportunity of life is.

I've been debating all week about whether I should write about this situation. My gut initially said no, but something else happened. Well, two something elses. One of my team members experienced an unfathomable tragedy in her life last week. That's not my story to tell, but it's a story that makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. And just two days ago, a team member at one of my clients also experienced a tragedy that's hard to wrap my head around.

To be honest, I've had a hard time processing all of this. Life happens, because life always happens. But these are hard pills to swallow. These are the reminders we don't want. Reminders about how someone you care about so much can be gone in a heartbeat. Reminders about how unpredictable this life can be. Reminders about how meaningless money, status, and stuff are in the big picture. Sure, we need to handle our finances well and care for ourselves. Absolutely. But when push comes to shove, 99.9% of us would give up all the money in the world to be with those we love. But in the repetitive rhythm of our lives, it's easy to forget that. We quickly find ourselves fixating on something a bit more superficial.

This is why meaning over money is so important. Life is too delicate, too short, and too special to focus on the money. Hug your loved ones, create memories, and always live for the meaning.

One Relationship Away

A decade ago, I was an avid user of a program called Instapaper. This tool allows you to save web articles and documents in a central location for later reading. If you’re anything like me, I frequently see interesting things to read, but am too busy with other obligations to digest it on the spot. Enter Instapaper. This app lets you click a button on your phone or desktop browser, and boom (!!!), it’s forever saved and organized until you decide to read it.

For reasons I don’t quite understand (but may have something to do with the craziness of becoming a parent), I stopped using the app. Today, after years of frustrations of not remembering where I saw this article or that research paper, I decided to dust off Instapaper and bring it back into my life. No, this isn’t an ad for Instapaper…..but it should be! As I was cleaning up my account, I was reviewing some of the articles I read back in the day. Right at the top of my list was this gem:

That’s my Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole The Hawkeye Killer Netten! Funny thing about this article. When that article was published, I had never even met Cole. I was a Cyclone fan, and it was cool that a local guy was having big-time D1 success. The man in that article was a stranger to me. Today, however, he’s someone I trust deeply and spend a lot of time with (though not nearly as much as I wish we could). The world is so small! It seems big – and in many ways it is – but it’s also much smaller than we realize.

In August of 2015, I was at the Global Leadership Summit, and Craig Groeschel was talking. I can’t remember the full context of his talk anymore, but one particular line hit me hard. He said, “You may be one relationship away from changing the trajectory of your life.” Deep down, I think I knew this was true. Three weeks later, I met the first of two men who would swiftly and dramatically change my life. Kevin Sutton from Coldwater Foundation in Grand Marais, MN. Kevin taught me the importance of being comfortable being uncomfortable. My time with him over just a few days would transform my life. He remains a close friend to this day.

Just one month later, I would meet Gary Hoag. I’ve mentioned Gary many times in this blog, but Gary revolutionized the way I view generosity and stewardship. A few months after that meeting, Gary invited me to serve alongside him for an organization in SE Asia. The rest is history, as they say.

I’m grateful for Cole, Kevin, Gary, and so many others who have literally transformed my life. Here’s the takeaway today. The world is small and relationships deeply matter. Be available and be curious. You never know who may wander into your life and stir up trouble.

The World Keeps Getting Smaller

Last week, I had the pleasure of guesting on an Australian podcast, It's Never About Money. I had the most wonderful time with their host, Joe Stephan. If this show sounds like something up my alley, it is! In fact, my Media Director introduced the idea of me appearing on their show by saying, "Travis, we just found the Australian Meaning Over Money!" She knew that would quickly get my attention!

After we first connected, they asked if I would personally do the initial discovery call so they could get a feel for who I am and how I present myself. During that conversation, Joe pointed out that they don't often have many Americans on their show....but have had a few. As he lists off a handful of names, he blurts out a name that stopped me dead in my tracks: "Gary Hoag from Colorado." Gary Hoag!?!? My friend, mentor, and brother, Gary Hoag?!?! I about fell out of my chair, but then it got even more interesting. "Yeah, I know Gary! He's one of my closest friends and mentors!" I then held up a copy of the book Gary and I wrote together last year, which was sitting just to my left on my desk. We both got a kick out of that moment.

The world feels small, and it's getting smaller all the time. The fact two total strangers could meet over Zoom, realize they have a common friend, record a podcast together, and build a relationship in the process, all while never being closer than 9,000 miles apart, is mind-boggling!!! I admire Joe and his work, and it's fun to see someone on the other side of the world that shares a common mission. I can’t wait to progress my relationship with Joe and discover new ways we can work together to add value to this world.

I think about this idea a lot. Never before has practically every person on the planet been accessible by practically every person on the planet. Right now, I could send Lebron James a DM, and he may see it. Instantly! Or maybe I have a business idea to share with Elon Musk. Five minutes from now, he could be digesting my idea. Or perhaps I'm interested in getting a job at XYZ company. I could immediately send a message to the CEO with an offer to add value to them. What a world we live in!

If there's something on your mind, put it into action. If there's a connection you'd like to make, send the DM. If there's an idea stirring, send it into the world. You never know who or what will happen. It's quite possible nothing will happen, but I can guarantee nothing will happen if you don't. So why not take advantage of this shrinking world? After all, it will be fun!

If you're interested in listening to my appearance on It's Never About Money, you can find it on APPLE, SPOTIFY, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

We Can't Just Skip to the Good Part

A while back, I was talking to my Meaning Over Money business partner, Cole Netten. We were talking about the podcast and how much traction we’ve gained with it. In that chat, I made a comment about how, in some ways, I wish we would have just started our business with the podcast instead of some of the other less-successful endeavors. I quickly realized how naive this comment was. Truth is, the podcast couldn’t have existed had we not been through all the other things. The thesis behind Meaning Over Money wouldn’t have been vetted like it is now. I wouldn’t have been able to clearly communicate ideas via video and audio on the podcast had we not done some of our earlier media projects (I was a hot mess in our early productions!). Even the name Meaning Over Money wouldn’t exist had we not worked on those earlier projects. None of what we have today would be possible without what we went through. We can’t just skip to the good part.

Yesterday, the Des Moines Register did a full-page story about my friend and Northern Vessel business partner, TJ Rude. I was a bit surprised by how vulnerable TJ was about his past failures and burnout. The birth of his coffee dream was full of so much hope and optimism, but just two years later he announced the closure of his shop and the potential end of his dream. Today, not only is Northern Vessel back, but it’s taken our metro by storm. Four years after its original launch, TJ has created something truly special…..and there’s no telling where it will go from here. In many ways, I suspect TJ wishes he could have just skipped to the good part. However, none of what he has today, or even who he is as a person, would be remotely possible had he not gone through everything before it. We can’t just skip to the good part…..and we should be grateful for that.

Done is Better Than Perfect

Per our normal rhythm, I record Meaning Over Money podcast episodes by myself, then let Cole know the episode is ready for his editing magic. We also tend to be 2-3 weeks ahead of schedule, with 4-6 episodes in the can at any given time. That changed recently during the holiday season. Between our crazy schedules, travel, and celebrations, we simply took our eye off the ball. It all culminated on New Year’s weekend when I let Cole know Monday’s episode was ready for him to edit. He quickly informed me he would be completely tied up all weekend and wouldn’t be in a position to produce it in time for Monday’s launch.

In that moment, we could have easily decided not to release an episode on Monday. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world. After all, we’ve released two episodes per week, on our scheduled release day, for 93 consecutive weeks. So one missed day wouldn’t have damaged us. But we have a motto: “done is better than perfect.” Actually, this is Cole’s motto. I’m a recovering perfectionist and Cole has beaten his mantra into me over the years. In fact, if it were up to me, we’d still be thinking about someday starting a podcast. That’s how much of a perfectionist I was

Our solution? I recorded a totally raw, totally unedited episode about this very idea, then hit publish. The episode wasn’t perfect…..but it was done. And frankly, I felt really good about it. I would have loved this episode to have proper editing, intros and outros, and all the other bells and whistles we expect from ourselves. But done is better than perfect.

Here’s what I’ve learned over time. Something done can impact people. It might not be perfect (err, it will NEVER be perfect), but done is always better than perfect. Done = impact. Something released into the world - with all its imperfections and flaws - can add value to someone’s journey. Conversely, perfection = potential. When we hold onto something and wait until it’s perfect, it can’t impact anyone. Nobody benefits from unreleased work while the creator pursues perfection. And the problem with perfection is it will never come. There’s always something to improve, to change, to enhance.

So what about you? Are you holding onto something in pursuit of perfection? Send it, launch it, publish it, share it……do whatever you need to do. Done is better than perfect!

You can listen to this podcast episode on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

40 is the New 0, Revisited

What’s up, fam!?  It’s been a hot minute since publishing a blog post, if 9 months can be considered a hot minute.  As always, life throws unexpected curveballs.  One such curveball was the release of our podcast, Meaning Over Money.  Just like that, we’re more than 40 episodes in.  

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A while back, I published a piece titled “40 is the New 0”, which was a reflection on my friend Dan turning 40.  Since that time, I met a similar fate by hitting the big four-oh.  I’m typically not fazed by birthdays, and they usually seem inconsequential to me (16, 18, and 21 not withstanding).  This one got me, though.  Much to my despair (then eventually delight), my wife threw me a surprise 40th birthday party in July.  Lots of my favorite people were there, and we had a blast.  A few minutes in, there was this moment when I walked into my friend’s garage and saw a big banner reading “Happy 40th Travis.”  Honestly, this was the moment it hit me…..“oh crap, I’m 40!”  It was a surreal moment, and one that hit me harder than I would have ever anticipated.  Fortunately for me, I recovered quickly and have acclimated to my new next-decade status.

As I reflect on that day, I can’t help but think about the blog post I wrote about my friend Dan turning 40.  When I see the number, it feels old.  However, I then take a step back and realize I’m just getting started.  Looking through the lens of my working adult life, I’m 17 years in, with hopefully another 50 good working years left in me.  In other words, I’m only about 25% done with my career.  25%!!  Using a basketball analogy, the first quarter just ended and I’m preparing for the second quarter to begin.  In my basketball career, it always seemed to take me a bit to get into the flow of the game.  I was always a starter, so I usually played the first 6-7 minutes.  Sadly, I rarely shined during this stint.  Coach would take me out towards the end of the first quarter where I’d get a breather and hop back into the game a few minutes into the second quarter.  That second quarter stint is where I would shine.  I don’t know why, exactly.  Maybe I had worked out my nervous energy, or had adapted to what the defenders were throwing at me, or just finally worked my way into the rhythm of the game.  But for whatever reason, my best production was always after the first quarter.

So here I am in life, coming out of the huddle between the first and second quarter.  That first quarter felt pretty good.  I spent 15 years in commercial real estate, investing on behalf of clients all over the world.  I found my faith, and developed ways to use my unique gifts to serve the Kingdom.  I’ve been married for 11 years, most of them good (full transparency: those early years sucked!).  I’ve been a high school youth group leader for the last 8 years…..talk about a humbling experience!  I’ve been on boards for many non-profits.  I’ve spent the past five years parenting my two little boys, Finn and Pax (again, humbling!).  And lastly, I’ve spent the past two years building my company.  What started with a desire to walk alongside families one-on-one has expanded into speaking, writing, a video course, YouTube, and now podcasting.  It’s been a wild ride.  Just like my basketball days, this first quarter felt bumpy as I was trying to get acclimated to the game.  I had nervous energy, I was trying to adapt to what life was throwing at me, and was trying to work myself into the rhythm of the game.  

So here I am, starting the second quarter of my career.  Just like basketball, I believe this is where I will start to shine!  How does 40-year-old me compare to that energetic, wide-eyed 23-year-old kid who graduated college and thought he was going to take over the world?  

• Today’s me has far more self-awareness than that young guy ever did.  In fact, I don’t think that young guy knew who he was at all. 

• Today’s me has far more skills than that young guy.  That’s what happens after nearly two decades of repetition, hundreds of books, endless podcasts, dozens of conferences, and other types of training. Looking back, I’m not sure what skills that young guy even had.

• Today’s me has far more experience than that young guy.  Skills are important, but pale in comparison to experience.  The only thing that can give us experience is, well, experience.  Failing over and over and over.  Encountering new situations, new problems, new opportunities, new challenges, new battles, new fears, and new (you fill in the blank).  Experience changes us, and that young guy had none.

• Today’s me has far more relationships than that young guy.  That’ll happen when you work alongside others, play alongside others, travel alongside others, serve alongside others, mentor others, and be mentored by others.  Quality relationships are a foundation for a fulfilling life.  I’m not sure how many that young guy had, but wow, today’s me is beyond blessed with relationships that make life worth living.  

• Today’s me has far more resources than that young guy.  This one is probably obvious.  Coming out of college, I had three things to my name:   1) a few thousand dollars, 2) a car I couldn’t afford, and 3) a mountain of debt.  In other words, not only did he have no resources, he actually had negative resources.  Today’s me is blessed with lots of resources thanks to making some very counter-cultural financial decisions in my late 20s after experiencing the profound pain caused by the Great Financial Crisis.  

• Today’s me has far more influence than that young guy.  Frankly, I’m not sure that young guy had any influence.  He couldn’t influence his way out of a wet paper sack.  Today’s me is just in a different place.  Influence seems to be woven into all the areas of life, from my coaching, to speaking, to social media, to the various forms of content we produce, to the many organizations who reach out for advice, to the boards I have the privilege of serving, and to the countless young people I have the honor of mentoring.  

With all that being said, I can’t pass up on this opportunity to criticize, ridicule, and call out the FIRE Movement (never let a good opportunity go to waste!).  If I were to follow all these FIRE pharisees, I would be at the point in life where I’m trying to finish out my selfish pursuit to hoard enough money to wind down this stupid working stuff.  Lean FIRE, Fat FIRE, Barista FIRE…..or whatever other dumb hoarding statuses we should be achieving.  Pack it in and go ride off into the sunset, where I would coast out the remaining years of my life by milking off the assets I’ve been selfishly hoarding all these years.  To me, this sounds like one of the most pathetic and selfish lives we can live.  

What’s the alternative, you ask?  The alternative is to embrace this opportunity.  To realize today’s you probably has more self-awareness, more skills, more experience, more relationships, more resources, and more influence than you’ve ever had before.  And time!  So much time.  Most of us today will likely live into our 90s, meaning the majority of people reading this still have many decades left.  You have two choices on what to do with it.  One path would be to continue to race towards the retirement finish line, where you can live a selfish life of leisure, enjoying the fruits of your hoarding labor.  The other path is to embrace the opportunities and challenges ahead, knowing the impact you’ve made in the prior season of life will pale in comparison to what’s coming.  Each and every one of us has the power to change this world.  But that power comes with a choice:  use it confidently and boldly, or sheepishly and selfishly walk away. 

““Each and every one of us has the power to change this world. But that power comes with a choice: use it confidently and boldly, or sheepishly and selfishly walk away.””

Sadly, most people will choose to walk away.  After all, the idea of living a life of leisure while coasting through as much of life as we can sounds awfully appealing.  Travel, golf, beaches, and all the other stereotypically better-than-work activities.  There are days where that even sounds appealing to me.  But then I remember something.  True fulfillment, true joy, and true happiness aren’t products of leisure.  They are products of meaning, which can only come from creating impact on others and pursuing meaningful work.  

Rest is great!  Sitting on the beach?  Love it!  Taking time off to relax with friends and family?  So good!  Traveling to fun places?  Not much better than that!  But we weren’t meant to make these things the center of life.  We were meant to do good work……and find ways to incorporate these rejuvenating endeavors into our life.  

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I can already see the hate mail coming, and I know what 80% of them will say:

“You need to enjoy life, Travis!” – Yeah, life is awesome!  Doing meaningful work makes life better…..much better!  In fact, I would argue the juxtaposition of hard work and rest creates a beautiful illustration of what it looks like to live a life of meaning.  Work without rest will result in fatigue, burnout, and eventually failure.  That doesn’t mean work is bad!  Alternatively, rest without work will result in loss of meaning, erosion of creativity, and a drain in our spirit.  Once in a while, my wife and I will go out for an amazing meal.  We spend weeks looking forward to it, anticipating what the experience will be like, and finally savoring the moment together. Part of what makes it special is it’s not an everyday occurrence.  If we had that meal every day, eventually it would taste like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  Rest is much the same.  When we work hard and pour ourselves into creating impact on others, that rest feels so much sweeter.  If that rest becomes life itself, it loses its sweetness.  It would become the lifestyle equivalent of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.  

“Travis, the goal isn’t to stop working…..it’s to do work I enjoy” – Awesome!  I love that, but why does that require you to grind for years (or decades) at a job you hate, selfishly hoarding money along the way?  Why don’t you pursue that meaningful work tomorrow?  Or better yet, today!?!?  Behavioral scientists have proven over and over money doesn’t cause happiness once our basic needs are met.  If that’s true, why are we diving head-first down the path of hoarding?  If we’re faced with a decision between meaning and money, we should ALWAYS choose meaning.  Instead, most of us pursue money, falsely believing meaning is on the other side of the money.  Believe me, I’ve tried!  I’ve been to the other side of the mountain, and I’ve returned to tell you there’s no meaning over there.  In fact, it can be a sad and desolate place.  I need to be real, though.  It can be a sad and desolate place filled with big houses, fancy cars, high-tech gadgets, and extravagant travel, but a sad and desolate place nonetheless.  This sounds like an impossible contradiction, but some of you know exactly what I’m talking about.  You’ve been to the other side of that mountain as well.  Welcome back!

“!#&# you, Travis!!!” – Noted.

“It’s possible to have both meaning and money.” – Yes, you’re correct.  But here’s a secret.  You can’t have both by pursuing money.  When you pursue money, you may actually win and end up with money….but there will be a gaping hole in your heart where the meaning should live.  However, you can have both if you pursue meaning.  Often, when we pursue meaning, the money will follow.  Why?  Because when we pour our heart, our soul, our energy, and our time into something we deeply care about, it’s much more likely we will succeed.  I call it doing the right thing for the right reasons.  Just pursue the meaning and let God sort it out.  When we do that, so much richness can be experienced in life.  I can take or leave the riches, but the richness is what I crave.  

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One last thought for my Christian friends.  There’s no scenario where true Christianity and FIRE can coincide.  By definition, FIRE is seizing control of your life (and finances), become independent, and requires you to selfishly hoard (i.e. not be generous) in order to get there.  By definition, Christianity is relinquishing control of your life (and finances), remain dependent upon Him, and requires you to generously pour yourself into the world every step of the way.  If we are giving joyfully and sacrificially, there’s no way for us to ever reach FIRE.  

As I wrap up my reflection on turning 40, I hope I’ve either inspired, empowered, encouraged, offended, or infuriated you.  I’m ok with any of these outcomes, but I hope it moved you, nonetheless.  More than anything, I pray you find your meaning, and use however many years God blesses you with to pursue meaning work and create impact on others.