The Curse of Comparison

When I was growing up, the only Christmas I experienced was my own. I knew what it looked like in my home, and my friends theirs. Technology changed the game with the invention of social media. Maybe some of you are in the same camp, but I spent some time scrolling through Facebook and Instagram yesterday. Christmas post after Christmas post. And maybe some of you can also relate to having a multitude of feelings when seeing other people’s Christmas celebrations. Feelings such as:

• “They look happier than us”

• “They have more presents than us”

• Their house is a lot nicer than ours”

• “They have way better food than we’re having”

• “Their trip looks way more fun than being in this frigid weather”

If you had any thoughts such as these, you’re not alone. I’m guessing many of us did. After all, it’s human nature. It’s the curse of comparison, and social media amplifies it unlike anything we’ve ever dealt with before. There are a few major problems with comparison:

1) We only compare ourselves to people who have more or better than we have. We rarely stop to compare ourselves to those who are less fortunate than us……which by the way is the vast majority of the world.

2) There’s always someone with more than us to compare ourselves to. Even Jeff Bezos, the 5th richest person in the world, could compare himself to Elon Musk (2nd richest person in the world) and jealously wish he had that additional $50 billion. No matter how well we have it, we’ll find someone to compare ourselves to. Whether it’s family, a job, a house, status, cars, or presents under the tree, we’ll definitely find someone to unfairly compare ourselves to.

3) Comparison robs us of appreciating what we do have. I have so much in life, but after spending 10 minutes on Facebook this afternoon, I felt like a nothing. It can be demoralizing at times, so it’s important to always take time to reflect on and be grateful for what we do have.

4) Social media is people’s highlight reel. It portrays them at their absolute best, the way they want to be seen, in a moment of time. We don’t know what’s happening in the other 99.9% of their lives. Sadly, many are hurting just like you and me. So when we see their social media post, don’t extrapolate them to believe their lives are perfect and pristine. I promise you they aren’t.

No matter what your Christmas looked like, I hope it was your version of amazing filled with special moments, time with loved ones, and memories that will last a lifetime. Merry Christmas!

Magnifying Meaning

Last night was awesome, filled with many cherished family traditions. Christmas Eve service with my family, including the always anticipated candlelight singing of Silent Night. Dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Snuggling on the couch watching Christmas movies. And last, but not least, a reading of The Night Before Christmas.

Traditions are special to us, but it’s not really about the traditions. It’s about those who we share the traditions with. For me, it’s my wife and kids. My boys are six now, so at this young age, they experience it a little differently each year.

I often talk about the idea of pursuing meaning. People generally nod their heads in agreement at this concept, but their actions oftentimes say otherwise. In their defense, the allure of money is attractive enough to lose sight of meaning. I get it…..I’ve been there! But moments like this, cherished holidays or traditions, are like a magnifying glass on our meaning….or lack thereof. It’s like looking into one of those cosmetic mirrors in hotel bathrooms. We see ourselves in the mirror every day, but it can be startling to see ourselves that close and that clearly. Sometimes we don’t like what we see. Holidays do that to us. They lay bare what we truly value and where we invest in life.

As I was sitting in Christmas Eve service watching my two little guys anchored on each side of me, proudly holding their “grown-up candles” while singing Silent Night, I couldn’t help but get emotional. The meaning was magnified in that moment, and it reminded me exactly why I do the things I do. Not so we can have more, but so we can have better. So I can model each and every day what it looks like to wake up with a heart to serve others and serve our God. In years past, I’m not sure I liked what I saw when the magnifying glass hit me. But the last few years (and this year)? It showed me I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I hope you felt the same way.

Merry Christmas!