Would You Wave the Wand?

Think about some of the more significant mistakes and failures you've experienced in your life. If they are significant, I suspect they involved some level of pain. Take the next 30 seconds to think about what these mistakes are.

Alright, now that you've locked yours into your mind, I have a question. If you could wave a magic wand and undo these events, would you? As I think about my collection of terrible failures, my immediate gut answer is an overwhelming "Yes!" After all, these events have caused me a great deal of pain and suffering over my lifetime. However, as I think about it, I'm not sure I would wave that wand. I deeply regret some of these mistakes but I don't think I'd wish them away. These mistakes (and the consequences of them), in part, is what has shaped me into who I am today. My life, as it stands, is a result of all the good and all the bad, wrapped up with an imperfect little bow.

Though it's not fun to think about, some of our best growth happens through and after moments/seasons of pain. If I could undo the five worst mistakes I've ever made, I wouldn't be me. I might have fewer scars, a handful more intact relationships, and maybe some more money, but I wouldn't be me. It would be a more sterilized version of myself.

This is the thing I've learned about failure. Failure isn't losing. Failure is learning, so we'll be better next time when the stakes are higher. If I hadn't failed so miserably with my finances when I was in my late-20s, I might never have been humbled. That version of Travis may have lived the remainder of his adult life materialistically and selfishly, continuing to fall into the cultural trap of more. I experienced a brutal financial journey in that season, but I'm so much better for it.

If I hadn't failed at becoming a biological father, my two sons would never have come into my life. The fertility and adoption struggles were profoundly painful, but our family is infinitely blessed as a result. Someone once asked me if all the pain and suffering was worth it. My answer was immediate and honest, "It wasn't worth it until the moment it was worth it." Some of this pain will follow me to my grave, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Pain and failure grow us. As much as we'd probably like to wave the magic wand and undo it all, that very pain is what makes you, you, and me, me. I think it would be tragic if we suddenly became lesser, watered-down versions of ourselves. I guess we're lucky that wand hasn't been invented yet.....