The Road to Nowhere
One of the side effects of being so open about my debt and career journey (recent podcast episode) is the amount of feedback I receive. So much of the feedback is positive, but not all. Some people, perhaps out of jealousy, or self-talk, or their own debt/career frustrations, offer a lot of criticism and skepticism to my story. These little nuggets of negativity (er, constructive feedback), often start with “but". Here are a few common ones regarding our $236,000 debt journey:
“but I don’t have a high income like you did.”
“but we aren’t able to sell one of our cars like you did.”
“but we can’t leave our house and live in a tiny apartment like you did.”
"but you didn’t have kids.”
“but you had two incomes.”
“but the cost of living is higher where we live.”
“but we can’t just stop spending….we need to enjoy life.”
These statements may or may not be factually true (fact check below), but one thing is certain: The road to nowhere is paved with lots of “buts”. You can have progress, or excuses, but you can’t have both! At some point, if we want to win, we have to set the excuses aside and get about the business of finding a way. There’s always a way! We also need to stop comparing someone else’s situation to our own. When I share my story, it’s just that…..my story. It’s not the absolute blueprint for success, but rather the blueprint that best suited our specific situation and our life.
“The road to nowhere is paved with lots of “buts”. You can have progress, or excuses, but you can’t have both!”
Instead of making excuses why we can’t make this decision or that decision, we need to start asking ourselves what decisions we can make. If you think you can or cannot win, you’re right. So how about we start to believe we can……and make it happen! We need to find deep and meaningful sacrifices that work for our situation. We need to decide there’s no amount of pain we won’t endure for the sake of a better tomorrow. Now having been on both sides of the debt spectrum, I feel even more convicted in my previous statement. Knowing what I know now, I would have intensified the pain even more in order to get to the other side of the debt.
It was a long and grueling 4.5 years to pay off our $236,000 of debt, but doing so changed us. It showed contentment like we had never known before. It taught us money couldn’t buy happiness…..because we had no money and we were pretty dang happy. It showed us anything is possible if we do it together and care enough to make it happen. It showed us what true freedom looked like, which emboldened us to draw a line in the sand and say “never again” to debt. Lastly, it taught us to dream…..and dream big. And not only dream big, but to be crazy enough to believe these dreams are possible.
Look at all that stupid debt!
Here’s the reality of the “but” statements above:
Our income wasn’t all that high during our debt payoff season, as I was still young in my career and the country was still working its way out of the recession.
Selling one car really sucked, but it was a defining moment where we made a choice that no sacrifice was too big to fix this mess. I never want to do the single car thing again, but I’m so glad we did it then!
The only thing stopping you or me from moving from a house to an apartment is pride. Any other excuse is a lie. I went from a new, 4-bedroom house in KC to a 600 square foot, 1-bedroom apartment (80s vintage everything) in Des Moines. Very humbling!
We didn’t have kids at the time, fair point. But we do have two toddlers today and it that didn’t keep me from leaving my career and taking a 90% pay cut. No excuses here!
We did have two incomes, but one of them was a limited-benefits, near-minimum-wage childcare job. We weren’t exactly rolling in the dough with that second income. But Sarah worked hard in that job and it meant a lot to us! Fast forward to my drastic career shift in 2019, I was the sole breadwinner of the house since Sarah stays at home with the kids…….but we weren’t going to let that be an excuse.
The cost of living in Des Moines is lower than some cities and higher than some cities, but it’s not the reason we win or lose. There are people winning financially in expensive cities and losing financially in cheap cities.
Spending can be fun, but it can’t make us happy. You can choose to keep spending, or you can choose a better life. Or maybe you can choose a better life, which could include more spending down the road. Think of it as one year, or two years, or however many years……for the rest of your life! We spent 4.5 years sacrificing, which is followed by 60 years of freedom. I’ll have the six decades of awesome, please!
The road to nowhere may be paved with “buts”, but the road to freedom is paved with sacrifice and a deep desire for better. So maybe it means selling a vehicle. Maybe it means downsizing your home. Maybe it means giving up travel for a season. Maybe it means picking up some extra income. Whatever it looks like in your life, just do it! It’s just one season, and I promise you every subsequent season of life will be better for it!
More than anything, here’s what I want you to take away from this piece. You can do it!!!! There is nothing that can stop you if you want it bad enough. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back! You got this! For each of us, there comes a fork in the road where we must decide what’s more important: Our stuff or our dreams? Comfort or happiness? Pride or freedom? I made my choice! What about you?
“For each of us, there comes a fork in the road where we must decide what’s more important: Our stuff or our dreams? Comfort or happiness? Pride or freedom?”