Forgetting the Plot

I'm coaching the second-grade boys' basketball program for my kids this summer. It's structured as two open gyms per week, focusing on skill development, relationships, learning the game, and fun. The first two sessions were great, but last night's was a mess. It was chaotic, we didn't stick to the plan, the kids got frustrated, and the coaches lost control of the action. In short, we forgot the plot. Amidst all the chaos and unforeseen circumstances, we lost sight of the purpose of being there. I take 100% ownership of that. I feel a lot of frustration and regret toward myself. All that said, I'm confident we can get the train back on the tracks at our next session. I'm excited to learn from these lessons and get back to the desired plot.

In many ways, this is a close parallel with life. Amidst the chaos, busy, and unforeseen events, it's easy to forget the plot. We say to ourselves that x, y, and z are our primary objectives. Yet, if we were honest with ourselves, our actions may say otherwise. This is a dynamic I've seen in my own life, and I see it multiple times per month with the families I have the privilege of coaching. Life is crazy. It's intense, unpredictable, and throws many curveballs at us (never mind the fastballs occasionally thrown at our heads!). If we're not careful, we forget the plot.

Here are a few examples of how this can play out. Perhaps one or more of these examples resonates with you.

The couple who says their top priority is to spend more time with family, but ultimately structures their life in such a way that they spend even less time with the family. They think to themselves, "If we make a lot more money, we'll have more freedom to spend time together." However, in the pursuit of more money, they create a life with even less freedom. They forgot the plot.

Or the couple whose top priority is to get out of debt so they don't feel as restricted in their finances. They lock down the finances so they can aggressively pay off the debt, but ultimately create a money culture in their family where spending money becomes taboo. They inadvertently rewire themselves to be cheap and overly frugal. In their pursuit of a less restrictive financial life, they create an even more restrictive life. They forgot the plot.

Or the couple whose top priority is to be more generous, but only after abc goals are accomplished. They have every intention of increasing their generosity, but they continually set artificial hurdles and boundaries in front of it. They aggressively pursue these objectives, while simultaneously being even less generous....for the purpose of eventually becoming more generous. It becomes a complete self-sabotage. They forgot the plot.

Here's a quick tip on how to avoid this. Every so often, ask yourself what's most important; write it down. Then, look at your actions and see if/how they align with your objectives. If they are aligned, awesome! If not, you might have lost the plot. Luckily, you're the author of the story. It's never too late to get back on track!