“Daddy, When Does the New Month Start?”
I received at least a dozen messages about yesterday's post. Specifically, people were curious how we have open financial conversations with our kids (at age-appropriate levels) while avoiding them feeling the weight of it.
It reminds me of a recent interaction in my house. As I was working on something, Finn approached me with a question. "Daddy, when does the new month start?" "In about a week, bud. Why?" "I want to go to Chuck-E-Cheese to play games. Can we put it in the budget next month?"
I loved his heart in the question. There's something important to him. He recognizes it costs money. He also knows we handle our finances with intentionality. Therefore, he asked if we could prioritize it in the budget.
My response to him? "Of course we can, bud. But we might actually still have money left in the kids category this month. If we do, we should totally go to Chuck-E-Cheese today." I opened the budgeting app and we looked at how much was left. $75! He celebrated wildly, and then a few hours later, we shared laughs over Chuck-E-Cheese games." Side note: Did you know they recently got rid of their creepy animatronic band? I was so mad. Despite being terrifying, that dysfunctional band was a fun remnant of my childhood.
The narrative of our family's money conversations is intentional. We never use the phrase "We can't afford it." Those four words are the ultimate parenting shut-down. It wins the conversation every time. However, it also confuses our kids. For example, if our kid asks for a $30 Lego set and we respond with "We can't afford it," the child may think we literally don't have $30. It also leads them to believe that if we did have $30, we would 100% buy it. It's a weird narrative for kids to wrestle. All the while, we parents are oblivious to how these comments impact them.
Instead, we should talk about money through the lens of intentionality and prioritization. If our kids want something we aren't willing to buy right now, Sarah and I respond that "it's not in the budget this month." We CAN afford it, but it's not part of the plan right now. From there, we can choose not to prioritize it, or discuss adding it to a future budget. Either way, approaching things from the intentionality angle staves off the "I want it now" syndrome.
When we take this approach with our children, they learn the importance of patience, prioritization, planning, delayed gratification, communication, and responsibility. They also learn it's okay to buy fun things. We don't demonize wants. We don't treat fun purchases as wasteful. It's all part of developing a healthy perspective around spending, saving, and giving. Spending on fun things is important.....but it must be done responsibly. Even a seven-year-old can comprehend this if approached well.
Parents, what say you? I'd love to hear your feedback on this topic and any other ideas for engaging in healthy money conversations with your kids.