Yeah, It's Okay to Hate Your Job, But….
I often rant about the importance of pursuing work that matters. It comes up here on the blog, on the podcast, and in my public talks. It's one of my foundational messages. I also touched on it in yesterday's piece.
In response, one friend (43 years old) wrote me yesterday; here's what he said: "Is it ok to hate my job? I don't hate it all the time, but I dread it most weeks. However I don't look for meaning in my work. I have a great family, awesome friends, and I enjoy my weekends. I have fun hobbies and I am plenty busy with my kids activites. We take two vacations a year and I'll probably get to retire by 60."
I told my friend I wanted to answer him publicly, and he's cool with that, so here we go!
Yeah, it's okay to hate your job. We live in a free country that allows us to choose whatever paths we want. I'm glad you have a great family and awesome friends. I can confirm you do, in fact, have a pretty amazing family and countless friends who would do anything for you. Such a blessing! I also love seeing pictures of your family's trips....so many memories!
On the flip side, I think you deserve better. I see how much your job kills you. I watch as you bounce back and forth between joy and dread. I've been with you on Sunday afternoons when the Sunday Scaries switch is flipped. I know you'd pretty much rather be doing anything other than what you do during the week. Yeah, I know it pays well, and you're financially comfortable, but it also looks like part of you is dying.
You excitedly say you can retire by age 60. First, that's 17 years from now! Do you really want your kids to spend their entire childhoods watching you merely tolerate your life? Let's just say you make it 17 more years.....then what? You'll still be relatively young, having tolerated the preceding two decades. What's next? Play golf? Sleep in? Live a life of leisure? You have so much to offer the world today, next year, and decades from now.
Yeah, man, it's okay to hate your job. Most other people do. Merely tolerating it is a culturally-approved way to approach life. You do have meaning in other areas of your life: family, friends, memories, etc. I'm just crazy enough to think you deserve both. I think you deserve to have meaning in your personal life AND your professional life. This is one of the areas where it's possible to have your cake and eat it, too.
I'll end by flipping it around on you. What if your kid was asking this question? Would you encourage them to sit in semi-misery for decades on end? You and I both know the answer to that question. Take your own advice. Live with meaning. Make an impact. Expect better; demand better. I think you deserve it, man!
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