The Ratchet of Guilt-Driven Giving

On a recent road trip, I pulled off the interstate to grab a coffee at a convenience store. I selected my beans, chose a size, slid my cup under the spout, and then ushered my beverage up to the cash register to pay. The cashier rang me up, then asked if that was all. After confirming, she asked, "Would you like to round up your purchase to help xyz organization?"

"No thanks."

"It's only $0.73."

"No thanks. I'm good."

"Ok, your total after not rounding up for xyz is $2.27."

What?!?! I'd never had that happen before, but it immediately made me think about this classic scene from South Park.

Guilt is such a powerful tool. It manipulates our emotions, which alters our decision-making process. My favorite part of the scene is when Randy lets guilt get the best of him, relents, and then gets guilted 10x harder. That's the thing about guilt. It's a ratchet that only turns in one direction. Once we submit to guilt, it only goes one way.

I'm sure xyz organization the convenience store advocates for is a wonderful organization doing wonderful work. But it's not where my heart or focus is. Would it be a big deal to round up to the nearest dollar to support this organization? No, of course not. It wouldn't move the needle in my financial life. However, if I'm going to bend to the guilt this time, what about next time? Or the time after that? What about a different context of my day-to-day life? What if, what if, what if. If I let guilt start overtaking my decisions, it will rob me of my intentional focus on the organizations I've hand-selected to support. And those giving decisions weren't made on impulse, like a rushed cash register transaction. They were intentionally thought out and meaningfully executed. The motives behind my giving are pure, honest, and genuine. There's no guilt, coercion, or mind games. It's just one family using the resources they're blessed with to serve others. That's how it should be.

This is where many people get tripped up in their giving. They get pressured, solicited, and/or guilted about so many different giving opportunities that it can take something powerful and special, and turn it into a negative experience to avoid. It can cause us to simply shut down. Or worse, fall into the guilt trap where our giving feels empty and soulless.

There's good news, though! You can reclaim your giving. You can reset the guilt. You can wipe the slate clean. Every month is a new opportunity to get intentional, clear, focused, and radical in our giving. It's never too late to start, and there's no better time than now!