Getting It Right, Not Being Right
TJ and I have had many intense Northern Vessel conversations over the past three weeks. We've faced (and continue to face) many challenges. All in all, though, these are good things. In just 2.5 years, we've already outpaced our year-seven projection. This is an amazing blessing, but that sort of blessing comes with many trials. TJ and I have an interesting relationship. I've been somewhat of a mentor figure to him over the years, which turned into a big brother / little brother type situation, turned best friends, as well as business partners. On top of that, in my new role as head of operations, I report to him as my boss. It can be tricky!
On this surface, this might seem like a recipe for disaster. That's a lot of landmines to maneuver. However, our dynamic works very well together. It's not due to luck. Rather, a few important dynamics make all the difference in the world. First, we both care deeply about the mission. Ultimately, even when we disagree, we're on the same team and have the organization's best interest in mind. The second, though, is the most important. It's a line in the sand he and I drew more than two years ago, and it's at the center of everything we do. In fact, TJ brought it up yesterday during a particularly intense conversation.
Neither of us is in the business of being right…… we're in the business of getting it right. The best idea wins, period. This steadfast boundary changes everything. It's not about ego, one-upping the other, or winning a debate. The only thing that matters is getting to the best possible outcome, regardless of our path to get there. Sometimes, he's right. Sometimes, I'm right. Sometimes, neither of us is right. However, we usually get to the right place, and through our trust in one another to be in the business of getting it right, we end up in a far better place for it.
In my opinion, this is the only mode to operate life. It can sometimes be humbling, even embarrassing, but everyone wins when the best outcome is reached. I see this in my coaching all the time! If one spouse is in the business of being right, the couple won't ultimately reach its potential. This dynamic is usually caused by arrogance, pride, or stubbornness. It's destructive to both the finances and the marriage. On the flip side, if both spouses are in the business of simply getting it right (regardless of who is more right), they will absolutely crush it. I've seen this play out over and over and over, spanning more than a decade with some couples.
As you navigate your day, be in the business of getting it right, not being right. I promise it will change your life....and your relationships!
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