First, Stop Tumbling
I'm feeling a lot of burden these days. So many people in my life are hurting. Lost jobs, tons of debt, broken marriages, sickness, failed companies, loss of family members.....too many things to count. I generally do a pretty good job of not carrying the pain of others, but man, it's getting hard.
As I spent time with a friend who is in the process of losing his long-time business, I searched my brain, then my heart, trying to find the best advice to offer him. Here's what I came up with: "First, stop tumbling."
As I think back to some the profoundly painful seasons in my life, it always felt like I was spiraling. Things were bad, got worse, then oddly even more terrible, until I splatted on some proverbial floor. However, at some point along my meandering journey, I realized that I don't have to spiral all the way down to the splat. Instead, I had the ability to grab hold of something and stop tumbling.
Here's my amateur, non-expert guide to stop the tumbling:
Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Truly understand the situation, regardless of how difficult it is to swallow. Dr. Drew Pinsky would refer to this as "reality on reality's terms."
Bring others alongside you. You can't do it alone, and luckily you don't have to. Find people who will support you, help you, encourage you, be honest with you, and hold you accountable. People that will hold you up when you can't even hold yourself up.
Get intentional. The only way to stop the bleeding (and reverse momentum) is to know exactly what you're doing. In the financial world, this is a budget. Get specific, account for all available resources/options, and execute.
Get small wins. When we're spiraling, it's not likely that we can stop the tumbling and completely reverse course in the short-run. Instead, we need to find small wins. A giant win is actually thousands of smaller wins stacked on top of each other. Start small, celebrate, repeat.
Don't anchor yourself. It's easy for us to lock on to our peak position in life and expect that to be the expectation of "normal." I see this with business owners who once had a season where they made a ton of money. It was great to have that win, but that doesn't have to be the new measuring stick of success. If we anchor ourselves to our very best moment, we may unfulfillingly spend the rest of our lives chasing.
Remember that a brighter season is coming. Even the worst of storms eventually clear to reveal sunshine and bright skies.....and maybe a beautiful rainbow to boot.
If this post speaks to you, I'm sorry for what you're going through. It won't be easy, and it may take a while, but you got this!